R2-D2 caught smoking

Remember this classic PSA? C3PO catches R2 smoking and... wait. Droids don't have lungs. The logic fails pretty quickly.



The main lesson here is that smoking isn't grown up. That's right kids; Smoking is childish. Don't grow up too fast. Stay young as long as you can with Morley Jr. brand cigarettes!

It's for your own good

The best way to reach children who have control over what they eat for lunch is with puppets. Don't listen to the freakin' ostrich! Eat the cake!




Now the preacy puppet is telling you what you can do with your money. I've been saving up for a swell dolly for a while now. Every time I get enough money, they make a better, more expensive dolly. The one I have in mind now is fully functional and cleans up with a hose.




Here they explain what a commercial is. They fail to mention PSAs and other federal obligations.




Hey kids! We know you love the disco music! We can dig. Do you know what else is cool? Puppets and vegetables! Now ease on down the road to... ah, screw it. Eat your damn vegetables or no cake.

Note an early appearance of Toys R Us mascot Jefferey Giraffe.




Another Junior Consumer Tip from the Better Business Bureau. I know some adults who could learn from this one.

Mystery!

'Round about 1980 PBS started airing Mystery! It ran as Mystery! until 2008 when it was absorbed into Masterpiece (formerly Masterpiece Theatre). The point is it had this great intro (see below) that really set the mood for a classic murder mystery full of interesting lurking characters, hidden rooms, maybe even a poisoned pin!!! After the intro it pissed all its potential away by going into an episode of Rumpole of the Bailey or some such cultural dreck that was probably very good, but not nearly as compelling as its intro.

Enquiring Minds

In the 80s, the National Enquirer decided to amp up their public presence through television ads. The ads were priceless. The example below is not the best. My favorite featured the line "Is Marilyn Monroe sending a message from beyond the grave?" Then they cut to a ghostly picture of Marilyn whispering "It was Muh-duh". Alas the intertubes have not yet shown us that gem.