More Toys of my misspent youth

I got a Stretch Monster when I was a kid. I think I used my birthday money, but I can't be sure. I may have wanted a Stretch Armstrong and they were out, I don't know. I prefer to think that Stretch Armstrong was a bit too pro wrestler for me. Either way, it's a lame toy, especially if you're not someone who enjoys playing tug-of-war with a friend... if you have any.




I also had a Six-Million Dollar Man. He came with an engine block to demonstrate his unprecedented strength. He was a 13-inch action figure, which meant he was a bit too big. That didn't stop my sisters from borrowing him for use with barbie (they had no Ken). After a "Barbie date" one afternoon, I came down to the basement to find Steve Austin totally stripped down to his bionic underwear (painted on). Scandalous!

Later I got a Maskatron. While not featured on the series like the bionic bigfoot, he was cool in that he could pose as either Oscar Goldman, Steve Austin, or some generic guy with arched eyebrows. Maskatron had interchangeable arms, featuring a claw-ish thing (possibly for scooping kitty litter), and a suction cup for... erm... picking up Doobie Brothers albums when they fall behind the hi-fi, I guess. He had a compartment in his back for hiding his masks, sort of like Mr. Potatohead does. Of course he had the terrible West World blind robot syndrome. When the mask is removed, the resulting computer-face has no eyes.


I really wanted the Oscar Goldman with exploding briefcase. Goldman was sort of lame in the series. More of a bureaucrat than action dude. He was necessary for exposition and setup of the plot of the show, but hardly worth making into an action figure. The briefcase, though. Wow!